Don’t stop believing … By Gemma Stow

One of the most important and the most difficult things to do is believe in yourself.

To fully believe, that no matter what, you will and can achieve what you want to really do.  Whether that’s emotionally, financially, workwise or with relationships.  We often tell ourselves that we can do it, but that isn’t always the same as believing deep down.

We have a whole lifetime of beliefs about ourselves that have created a picture of who we think we are.  This picture consists of our experiences and the part that others have played.  Comments, criticisms, compliments along the way, that have planted seeds inside our minds about who we believe we are.

As with the positives, there can also be negatives and this is where the limiting beliefs can come from.  Limiting beliefs are things we take as true about ourselves and usually start with ‘I can’t or I’m not…’ and can be so ingrained that without facing them we just take them for granted and they limit what we do or don’t do.

For example I have always believed that I can’t run.  I have told myself since being a young girl that I just can’t do it and so have always avoided it, it’s not my thing.  Yet I have always been envious of other women that love running.  That freedom and alone time is something I also love.

When I started to unpick this it links back to others telling me that I can’t run.  That running is for people who take it seriously and because I didn’t do that at school (and basically spent the majority of the cross country run messing about, hiding in bushes or skipping with my friends) I am just not cut out for it.  I never enjoyed running after that.

However, I have always had this urge to run.  When I see other women running I want to be that woman who spends time on her own and outside, strong and in control.  That’s how I see running and have then convinced myself that I can’t have that.  This is a limiting belief at work.  Something that I have believed for so long that I have accepted it as true.  Well not any more.  Last year I started training and am now actually running.  I have set myself goals and I am reaching them (including some races this year!) and this is starting to break down that limiting belief and instead, believing that ‘I can’ run.

So why am I telling you about my running journey?  I want you to think about YOU for a minute.

What are the things that you keep telling yourself you can’t do?  What are the things you avoid like the plague or doubt and second guess yourself at every opportunity?  Overthink things and convincing yourself you can’t do them and talking yourself out of it?

Spend a little time thinking back about what experiences you have had in this area, what can you remember others saying to you or what you remember hearing them say.  This can really help you unpick that story that you keep telling yourself and what you are or are not capable of being, doing or having in your life.  How is it stopping you now from having what your really want?

Once you start this journey around something that is important to you there is no going back.  You start to question everything you believed about it and about yourself and you can turn this into such a positive and powerful new belief.  You can almost prove yourself wrong, instead of always proving yourself right.

I love to help empower women to look at the things that are holding them back because quite often we don’t even know that this is happening.  Because what I know for sure is that anything’s really possible, and if it’s possible for one person then it is definitely possible for you too.  It is all about believing in yourself and yes this can sound a little cheesy but it is absolutely necessary if you want to do those things you keep telling yourself you can’t.

Start to change the record in your head.  When you hear yourself saying that you ‘can’t’ do something then flip it into something more positive and things will start to change.  You will start to believe in yourself.  I call this finding your fierce – that inner confidence to do the things you once thought weren’t meant for you.  

What would you do today if you knew you could not fail?


Gemma Stow is the founder of The F Movement – empowering ambitious women to stop hiding, believe in themselves and run unstoppable businesses.  Supporting women to be the next version of themselves that their business or work demands.  She is an ICF accredited coach herself and has studied NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Motivational Interviewing, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that all forms part of her high level coaching / mentoring practice.

Her motto is “ Do what you can’t “ which enables anyone to find their fierce and be unstoppable.  She is very passionate at working with people who are ready to unlock their potential that they are hiding away or just don’t believe is there.  As a former probation officer, a director of her first company working with young people with challenging behaviour and now empowering introvert business women to step up – she leads by example sharing her own journey of the ups and downs, failures and successes that have lead her to where she is today.

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