CoVid-19 – As the World Changes

We walked into the supermarket yesterday and my daughter declared “it’s like the apocalypse” and she was right. The shelves were stripped bare. We don’t normally go grocery shopping but my regular Tesco order got messed up because the payment wouldn’t process. So, I cancelled the order and took a punt at trying out the local Sainsburys. I am supposed to be in self-isolation because I have asthma, but with two kids and a husband to feed, the weekly shop still needed to be done.

I have tried to carry on as normal, but a large section of the British population seems to have been infected with the “stupid and selfish” virus. Food supplies haven’t stopped, but demand has gone through the roof. The shelves are stripped bare in Sainsbury’s but Home bargains and Morrisons apparently have okay supplies. It seems those who have more money and can afford to panic buy have a more severe case of stupid and selfish. We did what we could of our weekly shop, but unfortunately the only fresh meat available were Prawns and Bacon, and the only fresh produce was Broccoli, apples and oranges. We managed to get some pies and ready meal curries – but hardly the most healthy of foods for us to eat this coming week.

I am hoping that come Sunday when everyone enters a more mandated lockdown we might see those selfish and stupid zombies deciding to remain inside and food supplies can return to normal. Ironically the supermarkets are now looking to employ massive amounts of casual staff to ‘feed the nation”, which will increase the number of people classed as essential workers and the number of kids going back to school.

I am having to work very hard to maintain my equilibrium at the moment. As someone who is self-employed, my income has been decimated, with recently won contracts cancelled and a recession “after” meaning there is little hope those contracts will reappear in the near term. One clients is sticking with me (I hope), but if they pull out we are immediately penniless and the government is yet to announce any measures to protect people who are self-employed and have lost their income. I am holding the financial precariousness lightly, trusting that it will be okay.

I am normally homeworking, so self-isolation means that my workspace is going to be invaded by my kids and husband. I selfishly feel annoyed at the prospect of having my workspace taken over. It will be a mute point if the work dries up, but if the work stays, I need to do what work I have in order that we can stay afloat.

Which brings me to my kids. My son is in Year 10 and was supposed to have 5 GCSE exams, I thank God that he was not in the #ClassOf2020 whose two years of hard work is going to be decided by their teachers. My daughter is autistic and copes well with the structure in school, and brings the ugly home… she’s already set up her pen pot and desk area so structure and routine are going to be really important if we are to maintain a sane household.

Mostly I swing from a medium level panic to keep calm and carry on. I want to cry, sometimes I do cry and then I act as if it is business as usual, when it isn’t. I’m scared of getting a virus that could kill me. I’m scared for friends and family. I get irritated at people who aren’t taking it seriously. But then I went swimming yesterday, and assuming it would be the last time I’d be allowed to swim for a while, I went for my goal of swimming 64 lengths of crawl “by Easter”… I managed to swim 66. It seems the possibility of not being able to achieve my goal due to isolation restrictions was the motivation I needed.

What comes next will be determined by how bad it gets. I think where Governments have screwed up, there will be punishment. The selfish behaviour will not be tolerated, and selfish people will be put under pressure to stop. Kindness is beginning to flourish, and it will continue to do so.

In truth I am hopeful. The Pre-CoVid19 world of Brexit and Trump and the swing to right wing authoritarianism was getting worrisome. Perhaps the coronavirus has done the world a favour. Look at any great global disaster – The Great Depression, World War 1 and World War 2, it has always been followed by a golden age – the roaring twenties and the post war boom. It’s interesting that the governments in the West, who so long have demonised socialism are turning to socialist policies to keep the world turning during this crisis. I hope we will emerge with a sense of togetherness and kindness towards others that turns the world on its head, and my children will grow up in a world changed for the better by this crisis.

It’s not what we planned for 2020, but it will be okay.