Spaghetti Head: another way to describe Imposter Syndrome?

Nell Greene has serious Imposter Syndrome, though to her it’s called SID – her Sinister Imagination Disorder. I call it her inner critic. Alice calls it the lunatic living in Nell’s head, which isn’t quite as catchy, but we get the point.

We give many names to that voice that quietly chips away our self-esteem, convincing us that it is better to dim our internal lights than allow them to shine brightly. Why do we allow our minds to do that to us?  After all, we control our minds, they do not control us.

As far as SID (Nell’s imposter) is concerned, he has been helping her since she was fifteen and rejected by a boy she liked at school.  The rejection really hurt Nell, so SID has shielded her from hurt ever since by convincing her she is totally unloveable.  And when you believe that about yourself from an early age what do you do?  Nell sabotages her relationships, rejecting her partners before they can reject her. She has become an expert at listening to SID and living by his rules: she plays the unloveable, self-destructive role to perfection.

However, fast forward twenty years and what’s Nell supposed to do when she decides she actually might want to fall in love and start a family? How can she break that destructive behaviour and those in-built crap beliefs about herself?  How can she ever shut SID up? How can she take control of her mind? And once she sets out on the path of change, how the hell will she ever stick to it?  She’s never committed to anything in her life!

Spaghetti Head, my debut novel, follows Nell on her journey to destroy SID (her imposter) and find love.

Throughout my life I have chatted with so many women and men who feel shit about themselves. Mixing those conversations with my own personal experiences of operating in self-destruct mode inspired me to write Spaghetti Head. I call it fictional self-help and have written it with the hope of letting people know that they are not alone in their battle with their inner world.

One blogger who read it said that it is one of the five best books about mental health that she has ever read.  I’ll take that.

By Sarah Tyley

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