Seize the day

May you not seek to know what the future holds.
Be wise, strain your wine.
Don’t question what the Gods have planned for you.
Grasp the moment.
(One version of the translation from Horace’s work;  Odes.)

The month of August is now over and I have been carrying the provocation of “seize the day”, with me all month.
I keep returning to the quote and in all seriousness I puzzle about where it sits with me. I have journaled and drawn, aimlessly scribbled and painted around the idea. Is it a way of being for me? Is it aspirational, too uncomfortable, too risky? It is desirous? Frivolous? Or a sporadic, calculated impulsivity?

I love the idea of impulsivity but I am not great at it.
I like a plan and I organise myself around the plan.
When I do act on impulse it is generally rewarding and leaves me with a sense of accomplishment but it also triggers a little vulnerability, which if I am honest I am not good with.
At this moment, I am sitting in the staffroom, in the corner where the sunlight puddles on the sofa, and loving the warmth and joy that the sun brings. It is mid winter, but so far we have been blessed with a mild winter. I want to go walking in the sunshine. I want to stop work and seize the day.

Most days I would not have a choice, my time committed and booked up well in advance, but today, my afternoon is swapable, I have the flexibility, so, I will message my husband and see if I can go to golf with him. Not to play golf you understand, but to walk in the sunshine.

Is this impulsivity? Is it seizing the moment? Is it seizing the moment only because it is easily doable? Is this different from or the same as… to hell with it, I am doing it regardless?

So, I messaged my husband… not quite as impulsive as just turning up at the golf course, and set off to walk the golf course.  My husband, I think, was pleased to have me with him. I enjoyed the rainbows, the fresh air, the sunshine; I ate oranges plucked from trees along the course; I learned a little more about golf; I was pleased to have an unexpected couple of hours with Matt… but most of all, I felt so much better for seizing the moment than if I had followed my original plan for the day.

Was it about seizing the moment or about doing something for me…or are they one and the same? Either way, I am glad I seized the opportunity and will open my eyes and mind further to seized many more.

Ngā mihi nui